07.08.07. You dont know whats going through my mind now. 15 more days and then im gone, start a new life, away from mon papa. Every day that passes is so hard, i really wish my parents never got divorced, my life wouldve been perfect. I cant believe im moving so far away from my dad, i mean hello, 13 hour flight between us, and not to mention all my friends. Were never gona' be able to chat on msn, skype, but we must email and letter; sometimes sms or calls. Ive never felt so sad and depressed and angry in my life, i feel like i have no power and i just wana go home, i dont know where my home is, but i want to go there. And, is there really a God up there ? Im sure there is, but why isnt he helping me, in big ways, why doesnt anyone understand and help me ? Im sick of always being sick and not feeling well, sick of worrying so much, about money, being sick, my parents, etc, im sick of life. For now its torture, why dont i just drop dead ? My mum seems well happy, she gets to keep all her stuff and all but me, i can only bring one stupid lugage with clothes and shoes and acessories and a few of my personal stuff, im starting a new life here ! Whoever is reading this article probably cant help me, unless its God, which even he, wont want to help me, la preuve.. so, you dont even have to leave comments, you never have anyways on my other articles, my blog is like shit man, you ttreat it like crap, you treat me like crap. I dont even know why i deserve to leave, im like a living ball of negativity, im too materialistic and im just so uughhh ! No one knows how i feel. I just want to fly away, or just not be me. Its so hard to explain ! I try sometimes soo hard to be so positive and happy but it is so hard! Riite sO euuh' where was ii,,, Ohr iite sO oh waiit tO add sOmething perfectO tO my life, since i came back frOm BKK [ the 4/08/07 i have been sick fOr a week. like ] mega siick. u knw chest,ear,sinuse,throat infection etc. i mean i couldnt be taking any more medecine. i just hope i can fly the 22 , i am actually looking quite forward, but i gota fly first to england, then somewhere in spain lol. so all together im gna spend bout 18 hours in the plane. mhmm.. need tO pack Loadsaa magzz and stuff tO dO .i wish i had BooKs with everyOne. Oh well. i cant be;ieve hOw muchO im gOna miss u all. like. gawd im even gna miss thiierard MDR i was jOking. but Oh hey.. en la 4eme, u GOTA tell me the classes and all. LOL. with whO u are, and u are , and with whO he is, and she ,and she, and he,and she etx ahahah. Ah am leaving tomro nitie ! so fast man __ dOnt woryy , be pOsitive LOL. sO many things i wana say, write, sO many feelings gOing trhrOugh me, sO utrtrrrgghhh !! lOl and still so much to dO * ! J'en ai marre putiin elle fay chiier' elle a tOut jettey __ elle me guele dessus jen ai marre c toUT. enfiin bref ya pa dimpOrtance, jai tOujOurs pas raiisOn, gawwd c just trO X_X .